Stillborn Network

Hey Baby Girl!

We are at the beach, enjoying some long-awaited family time.

In the past month, I’ve realized that one of two realities exist. One: stillborn babies are far more common than I would have supposed. Two: I emit a stillborn parent signal that other parents of stillborn babies can instantly detect. I suspect that the truth is a combination of the two.

I was visiting you at Arlington and buying you some flowers the other week. The lady who was preparing the flowers asked about how far I would be traveling and who would be receiving the flowers (so that she could ensure that they stayed fresh). When I told her about you—and how you don’t really care too much about how fresh or un-fresh your flowers are—she teared up and told me about her stillborn son. His name is Samuel and I told her that I would ask you to say hello to him. I hope that you complied with my request!

Today, I was walking down the beach with your brother and sister while Momma took a well-deserved nap. From nearly a nautical mile away, a lady yelled at me to ask how old your brother is. Naturally, I pretended as if I had not heard and continued on my way. But, the beach has a canalizing effect, and—since your brother is beyond terrified of the surf—I had few options other than closing the distance with my inquisitor.

She also had a baby around Courtland's age, which may have merited the aggressive inquisition. As we got to talking, she told us that she actually has two babies. Her first, Landon, was stillborn.

As we talked, I was struck by how similar her story with Landon was with your Momma’s story with you. It was cathartic to talk with her (I hope for both of us), and it made me wonder if you, Landon, Samuel, and all of the other babies who passed too young are building a network up there.

If so, keep it up, little angel! We can all use a little help now and then.

Love,

Dada